Today, Thursday 25 February, i went out for a walk. I took a book with me. Tijd van Onbehagen written by Ad Verbrugge, philosophical essays about a culture adrift. Out of the heritage from my stepfather this book came to me, a couple of years back. I have been reading it slowly over the past few months. Today sitting on a bench in the park close to the Euromast in this warm springlike day in February 2021.
I walked back, went into the AH to get some salmon for dinner this evening. I treated myself to some sate with peanut sauce. Not fitting into my keto diet. There are worse things to eat though. Cakes and sweets and breads are of the menu. The sate is a bit better. And once i will give it up. Hopefully.
An ordinary day. Tomorrow, Friday 26 February, is my birthday. Not doing that much about that either. I will buy a nice bottle of wine to treat myself. And some chocolate to share with friends on the garden. That is it.
I do feel determined. To set my life in the right course, going the right way. The past few weeks i have been thinking about surrendering. Not holding on to all the things in my life right now. To yield, give up, give over. Ellen, surrender. Give up the idea you yourself shape your life. Let it be shaped by the world and the people. Scary, yes. But worth it.
Have a good weekend. Enjoy yourself. Go outside!