Love love love

Today, the day this post will be published is my birthday. Today I turn 56. I am not sure how this feels. I know it is above middle age, but i still feel young.

Today, Tuesday 25 February, i talked with a friend about what we want in life. I said i am still looking for the love of my life. I also said i feel in conflict with this desire, this wanting in me. I said i know i should lead my own life, do my own things. Not entirely single living though, i am a social being, as are most other people. But to find someone to share my life with, someone to talk with about anything which comes in my mind, and talk about anything coming up in his mind. To be silent with. To hug. To smile at. To hold hands with. All these simple things i miss so much.

I don’t know why my life makes it so hard for myself to live. I don’t get it. I am usually quite happy. Cheerful. Bright. But it is hard. As well.

Another day. Another year. My life turns on. Most of the time.