Last Saturday it was a lovely day, a bit cold in the morning, but towards the afternoon it got warmer. The sun was shining the whole day.
I arrived on the market around eleven. A good friend was there sitting talking with another good friend. Great! We started talking. He asked me about my storage for my things, my furniture, books and records. “I only have enough money for two to three months” i said. He did have another option, but it is all the way close to Germany. But i’ll keep it in mind.
Then another friend came. He said he was worried about two things. One is the Ukrainian – Russian war. The other one was me. He felt i was sitting in a race car going against all hope towards the end where i’m about to crash.
We talked about this for a while. I could only say i understood the worry some people expressed. But to me it is a open and clear cut case: my website is the most important thing to me. I will leave anything to keep it going. But i do understand that my money is running low to non-existant.
On my way back home while i was thinking about this problem i came to a conclusion: I am giving myself one more week. One more week to turn this ship around. One more week to make myself clear to the world. As that is what i believe i need to do.
Of course i hope i will make this work. But i need to be careful, i need to be precise. Today, Sunday 6 March 2022, i felt an mixture of emotions. A complete trust in myself versus a feeling of failing. I don’t know what it will be. I do hope my trust in myself will keep me going. For years.