A gorgeous garden
Author Archives for Ellen
A difficult life
It still feels to me i’m standing at a crossroads in my life. I have made choices already. The most important one is selling the house i lived in. I still live on the surplus of money i got from that.
There is a knot of unrest inside of me. I am not sure how to live on. How to spend the rest of my days.
We all live our own lives, with all the difficulties that comes with it. It is different for each and everyone. This is my life. With everything that comes with it. I made it myself, with all the choices i have taken in my past. Some good, some bad. I need to own it, every single one.
I don’t want to be dramatic. I do feel confused, not sure, not clear cut about the direction my life is headed towards. I feel careful. Not at ease.
I am thinking. About the world, about what is happening, about how we act, what we do, what we say.
It is difficult. Absolutely.
Portrait 162
Published on July 6, 2020 at 6:00 by Ellen
Categorised in: Drawing and watercolour
Summertime
Camomile
And more camomile
And still more 🙂
Lovely little white flower, no idea of the name
Horseradish!
Calendula, my favourite flower
Makes me so happy
Onions, still growing bigger
One horseradish uprooted, a bit too early. Better to do this in September
An onion flower
The table in the middle of the garden. It was actually warm today!
Zonsondergang
In the garden today
My House Rewatched
Today i rewatched a couple of clips i made several years ago, in 2015. Five years ago. It feels like yesterday, but it is also so far away.
The video i made in my house touched me. My cats are in there. Both of them, still looking healthy, a bit overweight. My things, my bed, the living room, the sliding doors.
It is good i’m watching these clips once again. I see the wobbliness, the haphazard editing. But i also see my life as it was then. I see the joy i feel while i am filming.
I have come a long way. I am still going on. I am not giving up. Not yet. Not while i have something to say. Something i believe in. With the whole of my heart.
Amen.
A busy Sunday
This morning i watched some television. Beechgrove. Saturday Kitchen Best Bites. Het Filosofisch Quintet.
This afternoon i cleaned up the upper cupboards of the kitchen.
I am watching Glastonbury Tea Time Legends right now. Well, sort of. I just took the photograph you see at the top of this post. I hear the music and singing in the background. I did want to get this post out of the way. I got really happy while watching it: Kylie, Lionel Richie, Brian Wilson, Al Green, Johnny Cash, among others. Made me feel very happy!
Later on i will watch the Great British Bake Off and the Great British Sewing Bee. After that i will most likely go to sleep. Maybe i will watch an episode of Dark on Netflix once i’m done. Not sure yet.
So no, i rather watch a bit of David Bowie on the BBC. Great!
Have a good day 🙂
Early in the garden
This morning garden work started at nine. We put up the roof, watered the plants in the greenhouse. Some went to the other side, watered the carrots. Some stayed on the side with the greenhouse, seeded beetroot and chard. I planted out the sunflowers in the top of a bed. First weeded it, watered the ground and in they went.
On my way back home i bought a pizza, a pizza margerita. I put up some of the herbs i picked this morning, the oregano, the basil, and some artichokes on them and ate half of it. And for evening dinner i put some sun roasted tomatoes and some cheese on the remaining pizza and put it in the oven. Lovely.
Tomorrow i will start at nine again. Much better in this warm weather.
I hope you will enjoy your weekend. Salute!
Lovely
Alone. That is just it. That is how i feel. That is how my life is.
It is not the worst thing. And also, so many people feel like this. Alone. Trying to run away from it. Trying not to see it. Trying to forget it.
It is not the worst thing. It does make me sad at times. But on the whole, i can manage.
I hope i have grown a bit stronger over the years.
The world is beautiful. The birds sing and fly. The leaves wave in the wind. The sky is still a blue with a little tinge of orange and pink. Small clouds are standing still in the sky.
The traffic makes a lot of noise yes.
But still. Lovely.