A walk through the park
Author Archives for Ellen
A new room
Wilted Flower
Slow
Today on a walk i thought about what to do for the post for tomorrow. It entered my mind: slow. Slow is exactly how i feel my life is going. Slow and precise. Careful. Teeny tiny steps.
I do feel that at one point during this year 2021 my life will make a turn. But not right now. With the pandemic covering the world, all the measures taken by governments to stop the spreading of this virus, it is not the right time yet. Besides, i still have some money.
Moving slowly with my eyes on the world, paying attention to as many things i can let in. But also simply living my life.
I hope you will have a good weekend. Salute!
Another round
Today i made another walk around and through the city. I do feel a bit sad that it is so quiet. So deadly quiet. It is not that i shop that much myself. Quite the opposite, i would prefer people to buy less things they do not need anyway. But this silence does feel unnatural.
I did first walk to the Vredestuin Noord. We drank a cup of tea and the others went on to work in the garden. I left and walked past my old home to the pharmacy, the apotheek. After that i went to the library, the bibliotheek, to return the one book i had and hadn’t finished yet. Then i went into the supermarket and got something to eat for the next two days before i move to the next room this Friday.
I walked past the square where the snackbar stands where i bought a frikandel with fritessaus and a bit of tomato ketchup. I sat on the square and looked around for a bit while i ate my food.
Then onwards home.
To be honest, i am really tired. This walk lasted around three hours. Pfff 🙂
Walking through the city
Today i had an appointment with my dietician. Yesterday i checked on the map how long i would be walking from where i am staying now to all the way to Kralingen: an hour! So i walked, through the empty city, the Highstreet, the Slaak all the way to the dietician. I told her i had thought about my health and made a decision to be more strict. I also had my supplements for magnesium and vitamin D3 with me. The magnesium does make me sleep better so far. It can also be a placebo effect of course. You never know. My plans for the future are to calculate my macro’s, the amount of protein and fat i should take daily. The carbohydrates is set to 20 grams. It was a pleasant talk. I like my dietician. Eline is her name. (Waves to Eline! 🙂
An hour walking back. When i got home i made my dinner. After that i made coffee with some of the Belgian chocolate thins i bought this afternoon in the Gimsel when i was walking home.
And just yet i was browsing Netflix. And Pride and Prejudice is there! The 1995 BBC series, which i love! So yeah, i started it up, but decided to type this post first.
Ooh, the last photo is a poem of Jules Deelder the most famous Rotterdam poet which is on a wall of a building on the Vierambachtstraat. I saw it for the first time a couple of weeks ago. It touched me.
Lotgenoten,
Ons gaan is een komen
Ons komen een gaan
De zin van het leven
is dat we vergaan
De wereld van iedereen
Niemand de baas
Het heden is eeuwig
Alles is waar
God of Jehova
Allah Jahweh
De één is de ander
De ander de één
Ontsteekt uw geweten
Kijkt om u heen
Het lot dat we delen
laat niemand alleen
Jules Deelder (1944-2019)
uit: Ruisch (2011)
The Human Cosmos
I watched this hour long talk by Jo Marchant on youtube this afternoon. I enjoyed the photos and drawings used in this movie. The topics ranged from 10.000 years ago until our present industrial capitalist society. Lovely.
Looking back on 2020
I gave a dinner party on 12 January 2020 for my friends from the gardens and my neighbours. A couple of vegan salads, cooked potatoes, a baked Brie, a vegan pumpkin and nut roast, a roasted goose, a self made chicken liver pate, a vegan trifle and a chocolate mousse. A lovely evening.
At the end of January i had to move out of my house. I still feel sad about this, but at the same time i knew this was an important step for me to take. I do not know my future, but i am still full of hope and determination.
Early February 2020 i fell on the street completely through my own fault. I broke one front tooth, a corner tooth was bend inwards. Half of the front tooth flew out through the flesh above my mouth. Luckily only two stitches were needed. It was quite a clean wound, apparently. Since then i am way more careful while i walk on the streets or even inside house.
Four months i lived with friends. Still thankful they offered me some space to get used to living more temporary.
A warm summer in another room. The quite attractive house lord was a bit of a distraction. Happy i got out of this room with no attachments.
A month in a room close to the Vredestuin Noord. My own bathroom, balcony and small kitchen. A breakfast each day was included. Lovely place.
In the house of a Facebook friend with her husband and a little daughter. Fantastic. Watched all the Batman movies. And Firefly!
This place was not really to my liking. I left a week earlier.
The place i am currently in. Good house lord with whom i talk with about all sorts of things. In the West part of Rotterdam, close to the house i used to live in between 1985 and 1995. I decided in December to get more serious with my keto diet, after a year of being a bit more nonchalant with it. No more fries and croissants anymore on Saturday. Carbs only from vegetables and nuts. I am more serious measuring my glucose early in the morning and during the day. I hope to loose a bit of weight. Feeling good! No keto flu so far.
Sense of Wonder
For the past few weeks i have been thinking about my last post of the year. This one. I want to write about sense of wonder. I have known this concept since my teens. Especially in reviews of science fiction novels i came across this. But in this post i want to write about my personal experience of sense of wonder.
The past year has been a roller coaster for me. From the first of February i have been living with other people. Friends first, than strangers who i paid to live in a room in their house. Some were friendly, some were absent, some i didn’t like that much. But in each house i learned something. This past year has been a valuable school for me.
Life is asking you to approach what is happening to you with a curiosity and a sense of wonder rather than a “why me” attitude. The story doesn’t matter — only what insights and learnings you have gained about yourself and life.
Source: A Sense of Wonder
I am not sure how long this will last. I know my money is running out in about ten months or so. But i don’t worry about it too much. Sometimes it crosses my mind. But to me this is still a long period in which so many things can change.
I enjoy my walks. I enjoy being outside and looking up at the sky and seeing the plants and the trees. I enjoy watching the people walking around like they know what they are doing. I enjoy gardening. I enjoy being by myself. I enjoy being with other people. Sometimes, i must add 🙂
The world is full with the legacy of people who have lived their lives before us giving us advice over the lives worth living.
If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantments of later years, the sterile preoccupation with things that are artificial, the alienation from the sources of our strength.
I am trying to get back to this sense of wonder, this childlike view on the world, a view i have lost over the years. I am loosing all the things i have built up over the years. Consciously. I realize my friends may worry about me occasionally, but i do not worry. I know i will make it. I believe in myself. I have complete trust in myself. It is difficult. Of course. Isn’t anything that makes life worth living difficult?
This is my last post of the year 2020. I am giving myself a two weeks holiday, to spend my time with Christmas and New Year alone by myself. I am not unhappy about that. I simply accept that.
I do hope you, dear reader, will have some pleasant moments in these dark times.
My best wishes to you.
Walking in the Vroesenpark
