Yes or no?

I had previous posts, asking myself this question: yes or no? Up until now I thought the answer would be yes. But there is a hesitation. There is a fear of showing myself completely. A fear of the nakedness, the utter exposure of me.

It is getting less. One step at a time. One day at a time.

So the answer is still yes. I hope i can find the courage to go ahead. The will to show myself. To sing and dance and smile and laugh. Be happy! Gloriously happy.

I hope.

Published on March 26, 2019 at 6:00 by

Springtime

Magnolia Stellata
Grape hyacinth
Early leaves
Not sure, cherry blossom maybe?
Again, cherry blossom?
Orange violets
Cornflower?
Early deep red leaves
A tree
Yellow!
Almond flower
Almond flower
Almond flower
Blackthorn flowers
A small white flower
More small white flowers, apple or prune?
Bok choy flowers
Dead-nettle flower
Primrose
Pear tree flower?
The harvest
Published on March 25, 2019 at 6:00 by

Where it all began

It is hard to write an introduction for pages which do not exist yet. Usually these pages of a book are written last, when the contents of the book are known. It is the place where the reader is given an clue of what to expect, the place where acknowledgements are made. Only rarely do i read those pages thoroughly myself. I skip to the contents, the index and the bibliography. You might wanna do the same thing, so i can indulge myself here a little further.

It is hard to write an introduction to pages which do not yet exist. I did set out some guidelines for myself though. I will try to think of these pages as a public diary, a sketchbook. This will give me some freedom, not everything i do needs to be ‘perfect’ and ‘planned’. Ofcourse this is only to help myself, i am a terrible control freak, often prone to a paralysing doubt about what i do and its value. I actually thought i had given up my work for good; i had found a nice job where i feel happy enough, but quite suddenly i felt the need to rethink my old work, which i made when i was at artschool (’86-’91). The idea of combining my old work and the internet breathed new life in it. For a couple of months i was thinking about this new work. The main reason i would like this to be a sketchbook is that i realise i have to start making things. Its been quite some time since i’ve really worked and i know i have to go through the first disasters before i can come up with some quality – i hope. The internet is a nice fluid medium, where pages can appear and disappear in no time.

I am not sure how these pages will develop, i don’t know how frequent the updates will be. It might be less than i anticipate at this moment. Maybe, when you read this somewhere in the future, you will know more than i do now. Maybe than, where there is nothing now, there will be something for you to discover.

From here to you:

Bon voyage.


Source: 1 July 1997

Published on March 22, 2019 at 6:00 by