I don’t know how to love him

I saw the movie Jesus Christ Superstar twice in the early 70s. With my mum. I was around nine years old. At home we had the soundtrack. I played it so many times. I sang along with it. This song was one of my loves. It has faded over the years. But i do remember that one time friends of mine turned it on and talked about it. They loved it too!

I did add the entire soundtrack to my Spotify playlists, but i didn’t listen to it yet. I hope i have time for it soon. If only for old times’ sake.

I don’t know how to love him – Yvonne Elliman
I don’t know how to love him
What to do, how to move him
I’ve been changed yes really changed
In these past few days when I’ve seen myself
I seem like someone else

I don’t know how to take this
I don’t see why he moves me
He’s a man he’s just a man
And I’ve had so many men before
In very many ways he’s just one more

Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love? Let my feelings out?
I never thought I’d come to this
What’s it all about?

Don’t you think it’s rather funny
I should be in this position
I’m the one who’s always been
So calm, so cool, no lover’s fool
Running every show, he scares me so

I never thought I’d come to this
What’s it all about

Yet if he said he loved me, I’d be lost, I’d be frightened
I couldn’t cope, just couldn’t cope

I’d turn my head, I’d back away
I wouldn’t want to know
He scares me so, I want him so
I love him so

The original from the movie

Published on September 21, 2015 at 6:00 by

Rotterdam – Around the house

My first clip! Finally! Yay!

I love the music. I’ve known Ed Lincoln for like 10 – 13 years. Marijn once sat behind my computer and added music he felt i missed. Ed Lincoln was in that list. I’m happy there is no singing in it. It’s happy music. Which is how i feel right now.

This is my first proper videoclip. I still have to learn many many things. This week i learned a lot about iMovie, about making clips. I didn’t use many transitions. I liked to keep things simple for starters. I am already thinking about my next videoclip project. Once the weather is a bit better, i probably will do one around the Kralingse Plas. But there are also other options: the beach, Delft, the Rottemeren. I’ll let it sit there for a while and decide later on.

For now, i hope you will enjoy this clip.

🙂

Published on September 18, 2015 at 6:00 by

Sauerkraut and potato mash with bacon and smoked sausage

Or the title in Dutch: Zuurkoolstamppot met spekjes en rookworst.

The weather here is not too cold, around 18ÂşC. But it is wet. Raining almost the entire day. So yesterday i thought about what i would eat, and this came up. It is a winter dish.

With the amounts i have it’s enough for three days, two days if you’re really hungry!

Ingredients

  • 400 gr potatoes, crummy
  • 500 gr sauerkraut
  • 150 gr bacon
  • butter for the mash
  • a bit of milk, or in my case some cream mixed with water
  • a rookworst (smoked sausage)
  • a bit of broth
  • a bit of mustard

Preparation

  1. bake the bacon till its crispy
  2. add the sauerkraut to the bacon, add a bit of the broth and let it cook for at least 30 minutes
  3. add the ‘rookworst’ to the sauerkraut, leave it in the plastic
  4. after around 15 minutes, peel the potatoes and cook them for around 20 minutes till they are done
  5. let the potatoes steam off and either mash them or pass them through a potato riser
  6. add the butter and milk or cream and water and mix
  7. mix the sauerkraut and bacon with the potato mash
  8. slice the rookworst and add this at the top with a bit of mustard

Enjoy!

Published on September 17, 2015 at 6:00 by

Me

Working on a video. With music! Something is working right. It’s not perfect, but the clips i filmed work, the music works. But i do need a bit more time to get it right. Till the end of the week anyways.

I am tired now though, i haven’t been sleeping well the last few days. So i’m giving myself a day off.

Bye bye!

Published on September 16, 2015 at 6:00 by

Never gonna give you up

In the late 80’s i didn’t have enough money to buy me full albums. So i got out and searched through the singles and found the just out of the top 40 box. Many singles from that time i still have. And no, i never had this single. I did just check this, but i couldn’t find it.

In the 00’s you could be rickrolled. It did happen to me a couple of times. And even though the lyrics are quite basic, i do like the song. So here it goes!

Never gonna give you up – Rick Astley
Ooh ooh

We’re no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of
You wouldn’t get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We’ve known each other for so long
Your heart’s been aching but
You’re too shy to say it
Inside we both know what’s been going on
We know the game and we’re gonna play it
And if you ask me how I’m feeling
Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

(Ooh, give you up)
(Ooh, give you up)
(Ooh)
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)
(Ooh)
Never gonna give, never gonna give
(Give you up)

We’ve know each other for so long
Your heart’s been aching but
You’re too shy to say it
Inside we both know what’s been going on
We know the game and we’re gonna play it

I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

The original

Published on September 15, 2015 at 6:00 by

A walk in Rotterdam: the Kralingse Plas

Friday i went for a walk around the Kralingse Plas. It was a lovely day, around 20ÂşC with an almost clear blue sky. I did take a tram and started close to the park. I did a short route this time. Over the Verborgenlaantje to the water. I sat there for a short bit, enjoying the view, the birds. I walked back along the Boezemkade and visited the gallery where a friend curated an exhibit. He wasn’t there though. I will make an appointment soon to see him! After that i walked back home.

Read more…

Published on September 14, 2015 at 6:00 by

Deacon Blues

This song has grown on me over the years. I remember reading about the group Deacon Blues, who said this song was the best song Steely Dan has ever made. I was surprised by that, and it made me listen to it more carefully. At first i didn’t notice this song. It seemed mellow, soft. Which is exactly what it is. Languid.

The lyrics. I read them today, a couple of times. I did a search on duckduckgo.com too and finally found an interesting article on stylusmagazine.com, my one time fave website. Damn, it stopped in 2007, so long ago already. It is still online, happy with that! This article called Top Ten Obscure Steely Dan lyrics. Deacon Blues is not in the top ten list, but it is mentioned in the intro.

This is one of the strangest lyrics ever put to wax—and it’s attached to a song that’s still played in elevators and department stores all across America. If you listen to “Deacon Blues” and only hear lite pop, the joke’s on you; with just a little close-listening, and the help of that English degree you never thought you’d use, it’s clear that “Deacon Blues” isn’t about a melancholy priest, but about a young hipster celebrating being a drunk, jazz-loving loser in an America that only cares about college football teams. And herein lies the greatness of Steely Dan: they wrote complex, mysterious songs disguised as catchy pop tunes. They’re both the most MOR and least MOR band ever. They’re accessible and subversive at the same time. If that isn’t the definition of great art, what is?

Listening to this song, reading this article makes me realize i hardly know enough about Steely Dan’s lyrics, or any other group for that matter. I really really should put in a lot more effort!

*sigh*

Anyway, you may listen to my recording, which in my opinion is extremely horrible. Better you listen to the original version. With the music, the saxophone, the female singers in the background, the gitar and bass and drums and whatever more. Then listen to the tellings of Walter Becker and Donald Fagen themselves, and some other people too.

Enjoy!

Deacon Blues – Steely Dan
This is the day
Of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers
Wild gamblers
That’s all in the past

You call me a fool
You say it’s a crazy scheme
This one’s for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I’ll make it this time
I’m ready to cross that fine line

Learnt to work the saxophone
I, I play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whiskey all night long
(Aah)
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I, I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama, “The Crimson Tide”
(Aah)
Call me Deacon Blues
(Deacon Blues)

My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance
This is for me
The essence of true romance
Sharing the things we know and love
With those of my kind
Libations
Sensations
That stagger the mind

I crawl like a viper
Through these suburban streets
Make love to these women
Languid and bittersweet
I’ll rise when the sun goes down
Cover every game in town
A world of my own
I’ll make it my home sweet home

Learnt to work the saxophone
I, I play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whiskey all night long
(Aah)
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I, I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama, “The Crimson Tide”
(Aah)
Call me Deacon Blues
(Deacon Blues)

This is the night
Of the expanding man
I take one last drag
As I approach the stand
I cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long
This brother is free
I’ll be what I want to be

I learnt to work the saxophone
I, I play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whiskey all night long
(Aah)
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I, I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama, “The Crimson Tide”
(Aah)
Call me Deacon Blues
(Deacon Blues)

The original song on the album which i actually do have! And yes, i did buy it when it was released, in 1977.

Steely Dan discuss the production behind “Deacon Blues” from “Aja.”

Published on September 11, 2015 at 6:00 by

Rudolf George Escher 1912 – 1980

I remember very clearly the first time i heard the music composed by Rudolf Escher. I went over to Edwin for dinner. He put on this music which completely enchanted me. I sat there listening with my eyes closed. I’m not sure what Edwin thought of that to be honest, it did feel almost a bit rude to me, but i couldn’t help myself. I fell in love.

I went out and tried to find his music. He isn’t the best known composer. Dutch composer! I did find out he had lived in Rotterdam. He had lost his house and all the works he made up until 1940 in the bombing on Rotterdam 14 May 1940.

I do prefer his chamber music. Lucky for me most of his music is exactly that.

2015-09-09-13.42.42

Classical music is a sideline interest for me. It is such a huge field of composers, performers, critics and different areas that it simply is too much for me. I know i could dive in, but i am more into pop and hip-hop and rap and r&b. I do listen to classical music rarely. When i do, i try to really listen. Not read or do anything else. Listen.

So there is this little bit of music i want to share with you. I will listen to it myself over the next days.

I hope you will find the time.

Arcana

Sonata for flute and piano

Le Tombeau de Ravel

Sonata per violoncello solo (1945/1948)

Trio for clarinet, viola and piano

Sonate Concertante

Strange meeting: for baritone and piano

Sonata for violin and paino

Habanera

Monologue for flute

Sonatina for piano

Trio Ă  cordes (1959), 1. Transformations

Trio Ă  cordes (1959), 2. RĂ©miniscences

Sonata No.1 for piano solo

Three poems by W.H. Auden (1975)

Sonata for fluit solo (1973)

A spotify playlist

Published on September 10, 2015 at 6:00 by

Dreams

This morning i woke up around four. The cat was miaowing outside and scratching the door. I do close it the last weeks because litle Mieke does like to wake me up in the middle of the night with her little paw with those sharp nails. After a while i do go out, walk to the kitchen, stroke her and let her eat some dry cat food. This morning i got out too. And walked to the kitchen.

I went back to bed and put on the light and got my iPad and read a little. Then i got my book and read some more. Modesitt‘s Recluce series now, the books i have. Then i tried to fall back to sleep a bit more. I often fail! At nights i think. Sort of dream awake. No dream is ever the same as another. It is usually the same situation, but each time with a different scenario. Slightly different.

The last couple of days i do fall asleep again in the morning. This morning i had two dreams. Which i remember! This is new, because usually i don’t remember my dreams anymore. But today i did. I made drawings of them. Not terribly successful, but they are still images connected to those dreams. They were not pleasant dreams.

dream-boat-fish-water
I step on a boat. It is dark. There is water in the boat. In that water is a fish. A flatfish. I'm scared.
dream-hut-walk-outside
I'm standing in a building near a grassfield. I watch the door. Through the door i see a person, a military man. People are walking into the building. They are standing out of sight of the military man. I'm scared.

I don’t know what these dreams mean. But i do see i’m scared in both of them. The last one reminds me of a dream i had much earlier, when i was around 20 years old.

I’m in a building in the Shell swimming pool area close to my parent’s house. There are people lying on a sloping curve, their faces visible. There is a gel like substance flowing over them. Only the people at the top survive. They stand up and walk down over the dead people. It is really frightening me. A nightmare.

Another dream i remember is one i had the night i read The Neverending Story by Michael Ende. The book is so much better than the film. The dream is around 35 years old.

I’m running down a street. I do see the street building up as in run from a grey background. I keep on running into the greyness, but i never fall into it. I do remember walking into a house at one time, but that’s very vague.

The last days i’ve been very tired. I do think a lot too. Nothing fancy pancy, nothing dreamlike. I think i’m on the brink of making a decision. Soon.

Published on September 9, 2015 at 6:00 by