Too many things
Yeah, pretty sure now i will stop posting the next two weeks. My head is too full. Just got out of bed once again to write this. Too many things to do. But, it is not going too bad. Happy i got quite a few friends! Yay!
Yeah, pretty sure now i will stop posting the next two weeks. My head is too full. Just got out of bed once again to write this. Too many things to do. But, it is not going too bad. Happy i got quite a few friends! Yay!
A head full of thoughts. The coming weeks are gonna be difficult. Will need all my attention.
The past week i saw some videos about wu wei. Effortless action. I need to read more about this, its history. I do feel it is applicable to my current situation. To me, the way i want to live my life. I don’t know enough about it to be sure.
I will post this week. I almost forgot this one, i confess. Got out of bed to write it. Next week, i am not so sure. Uncertainty rules in my life right now! I will let you know here, hopefully soon.
Salute!
I have only two weeks i can stay in my house. Less than two weeks. And i need to decide what i am going to do. And i have decided. For now. I do need some help. And i’m happy i am getting some help.
I hope hope hope things will go alright for me the first months. And i am still working, drawing, making my thoughts known to people around me.
It is a mess, yes. But it is fine. I can deal with it. I hope π
First i wanted to make a post titled True Love. I had already written this post though. So no. I have also written a post called Alone. Way way back. But this subject stuck with me during the day. So i settled for this one, Everyone is Alone. True.
You can battle this aloneness. Make friends with whom you can go out, go see a movie, have dinner with. Chat with, shop with. Have sex with. Have a significant other. Have children.
All things to battle being alone with. As do i. The dinner party of last Sunday is a prime example. My friends, from the garden, from the harvest market. All people i have met over the past three and a half years.
But we all are still alone. Each and everyone. Something we all need to deal with. Preferably. It is not something we think about each minute of each day. But it is always there, lurking behind the leaves, behind the buildings, behind all the other people surrounding us. Alone.
I can only talk for myself here. I don’t know how other people deal with this. I know of myself a bit. I used to drink a lot more than i do now. In order to forget. To spend my time not thinking. I still have many issues, but i am dealing with most of them. I am reasonably happy. I enjoy saying good morning or afternoon or day to people i pass on the street. Some reply, some don’t. It doesn’t matter. I try to keep my calm. I try to look outwards as much as possible. I try to think about everything i feel. Everything that happens to me. Too many things really to feel completely alone. That does help me.
I don’t feel bad at all. I do cry at times. This morning i did. But it passes. And then i feel good again.
I hope you will have a good weekend. Salute!
I felt a bit more as usual today. Yesterday i was at home the whole day. I did do some dishes. I cleaned up the table in the front room. I cleaned up my kitchen. This morning i started with doing some more dishes. I still have some to do. Mostly the pans and bowls are having everything soaked off right now.
Today i walked by Julien. He has a room for rent for two months, starting January 31. So i went though the room and i will rent it – for only 250 euros each month. This gives me more time to look for another cheap house, preferably in the northern part of Rotterdam.
Thinking back about the dinner party makes me feel very happy. It still is in my head.I know i need to start thinking about packing, throwing things away, giving things away. And i will! But i do still feel a bit rosy afterwards. Bless all my guests!
I have some links to recipes for you from last Sundays dinner.
Main Course
Pumpkin, Chestnut and Cashew Nut Roast
Baked Brie with Nuts and Figue Jam
Chicken Liver Pate
Oven Baked Goose
Sauerkraut
Celeriac, Hazelnuts and Lentil salad
Beetroot salad
Brussel Sprouts salad
Boiled Leeks with a dressing
Baked Goudreinet Apples stuffed with Onions and Sage
Boiled Potatoes
Cranberry sauce
Onion Marmelade
Green Tomato Chutney
Wines and Drinks brought by the Guests
Dessert
Vegan Trifle
Chocolate Mousse with Whipped Cream
After
Coffee
Tea – Green Tea with Jasmin, Starry Mix, Earl Grey
Ginger Tea
Self Made Vegan Chocolate Truffles with Calvados
Calvados V.S.O.P.
Tawny Port